Ranting, and lots of it.

So I know the title of this entire blog thingy is "Confessions of a Hopeless Romantic," but I've decided today it's gonna be called "Confessions of a Very Pissed off Girl." My blog is my little insignificant corner of the world and it's all mine. I don't give a shit who sees it or who gets offended because if someone feels like anything I say is directed towards them, they probably fucked up bad enough to deserve whatever I day. So here goes:

I resent the fuck out of my dad. He has five children that we know of, not just one son, which is all he pays attention to. Of his five known children, he has one daughter. ONE. Normal dads would be extra-protective of their only daughter. Not mine. When I was younger, he was too fucking drunk to function. Now, he just doesn't give a fuck. The "man" who used to beat my mother and his ex-wife is now the pussy who won't spend time with his only daughter because he's too worried about upsetting his precious youngest son or his cunt "girlfriend." Seriously, Dad? Man the fuck up.

I started school when I was three. THREE YEARS OLD. I did amazingly well and pretty much always had A's. I never got in trouble and my teachers adored the hell out of me. When I was in high school, I got inducted into the National Honor Society. It's kind of a big deal. I had to go to some dumb ceremony and everything. I was the first (and only) of my siblings to be in it. And where was my daddy? At boy scouts with his youngest. A fucking boy scout meeting that he went to EVERY WEEK. Thanks for letting me know you're proud of me, Dad.

When I was little, he cheated on my mom. So one day, my mom and I went to the park he was at with his current whore and her kids. At some point, this bitch told my dad "Choose between her (me, not my mom) or them (her kids.) Guess who left the park that day without her daddy.

When most girls turn 16, there's some kind of party and it's a little bigger of a deal. I'm not an exception to this. I had a big Sweet 16, with a pretty dress, rented a hall, got my hair and makeup done, all that. Again, where was my daddy? Didn't show up. To this day, he swears it's because my mom told him not to go. HELLO, IT'S MY PARTY, YOU IDIOT.

I graduated high school when I was seventeen. I hadn't been pregnant, arrested, or had an STD. I graduated with fucking honors. Where was my fucking daddy for that? Oh, that's right, not fucking there. He's come up with two excuses for that one. First, he was mad because I told him I was only giving him ONE ticket, so only he could come. He told me his fucking whore would be upset and her feelings would be hurt. Then, he blamed it on my mom. Again. Am I sensing a pattern here?

And most recently, I found out KISS was going to be playing near where I live. I wanted to buy him a ticket (just one for him) and one for myself so we could finally do something and have some kind of father-daughter bond, since I love KISS, but have never seen them live. Again, he had two excuses. First, he didn't want to be around a bunch of rednecks. Ok, that right there just proves how dumb he is. Second, he said he wanted to take his precious youngest son. Thanks so much for the slap in the face.

I've come to the conclusion that I have daddy issues, but not like some girls. I don't jump into a guy's bed because he takes care of me or treats me better than my dad ever has. I realized I had these issues when a guy I was seeing asked me to call him "Daddy" in bed. Ha. He got a "fuck you" and I left.

I've grown accustomed to the fact that my dad doesn't give a shit about me and I'm ok with that. Once I leave, I'm fucking GONE, for good. I can honestly say I'm sure he'll never meet my future husband and will sure as hell never see my future kids. I don't want them to feel what I felt.

Anyhoo, that's the end of my rant. If you read it, awesome. If not, meh.